27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 4 BOOK OF SONGS AUTHOR’S 2ND AUTOBIOGRAPHY

27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 4

A partial part of one’s life, well, my life has been led in the shadow of fear, doubt, and everything else that wasn’t aligned with my soul. Some parts of my life were lived without any glow, without any light, and I knew it all too well. I talked about some of this in my book Let Go and Let God…And Then What? But now we are moving on. All of my attention and focus are on where I am and want to be. 

     So, from a different set of lenses, I now know that I’ve lived a charmed life, both in the shadows and in my own light. 

Let it all go

Cover your heart with whatever you decide;

Keep it locked, keep it hidden away.

Someday it will find you where you are.

Can you hide from your reflection?

A time ago what so long ago.

Let it go and step into today.

How far back do you want to go?

Let the wind in your sail.

The spring of your life is here.

See the cherry blossoms.

Believe me when I say,

Each pedal is a life that goes on and on.

Each one is perfect.

You can never get wrong.

It’s never ending,

So let it go and step into today.

Let it go, release yourself.

Let the wind in your sail.

hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

Oh….oh…oh.

Let it all go.

Release yourself to today.

It’s where life goes on and on,

In the pedal of each cherry blossom,

This can never be taken away.

Let it go, release yourself.

Let the wind in your sail.

hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

Oh….oh…oh.

Let it all go.

It’s a hard life when you do everything but follow your very own instinct. I know that you know this already. A common default response to life when we don’t get what we want, or when things turn out differently than what we wanted is to say “what will be will be”, and “there is nothing I can do about it”.

You don’t need me or anyone else to tell you what you already know. So why do we do the exact opposite of what it is we know we are supposed to be doing? Why do we explore the caves of despair, the valleys of sorrow, and the mountains of pain? Is it all a part of life? Are we meant to know dark in order to know light? We’ve heard this before somewhere. Why do we accept “what will be will be”?

What’s the gain in experiencing despair, sorrow, and in experiencing pain when it is self-inflicted?

I too try to understand the world we live in, as well as myself. “Where have I gone wrong?” I ask myself. “Where have I gone right?” “Where bla bla bla …”, all sorts of questions…and still there is never really a right answer, one that is very satisfying other than…I didn’t follow my instinct. So why did I not follow my instinct?

There are many answers to this question. Some have been revealed not only to you but to myself in Let Go and Let God…And Then What? But overall, this question I’ve answered many times, over and over again, and I always land on…Suzanne, you didn’t follow your instinct.

Not following your instinct can lead to what we know as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’ve said to myself on many occasions – “I knew this would happen!”. I’m certain you’ve walked down this same path. We must be magicians to be able to control the future, right? Well…if we are magicians who can control the future, why can’t we do it and be certain of our craft, in that we will get what we want…the good stuff…the stuff we really want and not what we fear we will get, and what we fear we’ll experience?

I feel we try too hard when we want something. We try too hard when we don’t want something. We just try too hard in most things and everything. Why do we try so hard? I don’t have an answer to that question for you. I only have the answer to that question for me. I try so hard because I believe that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. I will fight a storm around me when I know that I am to be still and calm. I will run when I know that I am to walk. I will be frightened when I know that I am safe. I will cry when I know that I should be smiling. I will be sad when I know that I am to be happy.

We accept orders and commands from some other being other than our true self on how we ‘think’ we should be feeling, and how we ‘think’ we should be doing, and how we ‘think’ we should be acting, instead of trusting our own feelings. What can possibly go wrong when we trust our instinct?

There is always ‘what will be will be’. That’s an easy one. Then there’s the whole world to blame when you bleed out from your own choices. You will dig yourself in deeper into that cave of despair. You will walk head low in the valley of sorrow. You will grip the rocks until your fingers bleed to reach that mountain of pain. It’s all very dramatic, but it’s what many of us do. We do this until we decide otherwise, and act on not doing this any longer.

Your decision to not do this to yourself is only valid if you take action to not do it again. Otherwise, all of your decisions remain in your head. Unless those decisions get out of your head and out into the world, I fear that you will be on that treadmill until you actually step off it.

It’s a tricky one, isn’t it? When do you make that decision? Who are all the people you think you will hurt when you decide to act on this decision? Would they be all of the people you currently know? Probably some of them. But you know what? That’s not your problem. Do not add this to the list of problems you created for yourself. We think that by being kind, considerate, etc…towards others, we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. Are we a little too self-righteous in our thoughts and actions? Think about this one. Are you more concerned about someone else’s feelings than you are about your own? Really think about this question. Allow yourself to really feel this question. Does being a person who is totally correct or morally superior look around at the world or down at it? Do you want to be a part of this world or above all of the others who make up this world?

Does this virtue you cling to actually separate you from your sphere – your highest self? This virtuous energy you cling to can be transferred to a strong belief in what is right – your instinct -of your own actions or opinion of what is best for you, instead of projecting this onto others. Imagine the power this would have on your day-to-day life!

Yes, imagine! Where can your imagination take you with all of this energy that is focused on yourself, when you are in total alignment with your highest self? What do you mean to yourself? How much do you mean to yourself? Imagine what it feels like and looks like when you are being the real version of You.