27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 19 BOOK OF SONGS AUTHOR’S 2ND AUTOBIOGRAPHY
27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 19
Choosing to embark on a new experience had always been a wonderful journey for me. However, do not confuse the word ‘wonderful’ to be “without tears, fear, pain, frustrations, a kaleidoscope of emotions”. My willing participation in an event or occurrence that has left an impression on me sprouted new questions about life, my life in particular. In The Adventures of Anuk: The First Leap – Anuk (I) examines living and life with her friends EagleOwl and Kinkajou. They talk of living life in small parts, doing this and that, and wondered about what happened to the rest of life, the parts that went unexamined. EagleOwl argues that one usually seeks answers to questions, if you ask the right questions. However, it’s not always the answer you wish to receive. Kinkajou reaches further by asking if we live in the here and now, and what about the life lived before this moment and in other places? Are they really in the past, to be forgotten? Or are they merged unnoticed into the present moment for the benefit of making room for all the time that lies ahead, no matter how much passage of time remains? EagleOwl answered this string of questions by saying that it’s not necessary to delve so deep into such questions. Instead, experience life just as it is. Anuk interjects by asking if EagleOwl had narrowed his sense of curiosity and no longer felt like exploring his mind. Aye knew of EagleOwl’s and Kinkajou’s devotion and dedication to the exploration of imagination and belief; they had changed from the exploration of inner thoughts to focus on outer life–other real-life experiences reaching far beyond the expectations of their home life.
My journey of self-discovery brought me to Europe, Africa, United States, South America, Australia, Antarctica, and many parts of Canada. It was through these adventures that I had come to learn that I could ask myself this question ‘What will I create for myself?’
I wanted out of my hometown and the life I was living, and I searched for everything and anything I could do just to get me out of there. I was focused. I was determined. I was relentless. I didn’t know that then. Looking back at my life and at my younger self – now I can see this. Back then, I just acted, my attention, my awareness was focused on exactly what I was searching for – and that was not just one thing, it was many things. What I didn’t realize, though, at the time, was all of that resistance I was also carrying around with me. It wasn’t until Ester Hicks and the other teachers previously mentioned, that I came to understand that my attention, energy and focus were on what I didn’t want, instead of what I did want.