27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 18 BOOK OF SONGS AUTHOR’S 2ND AUTOBIOGRAPHY
27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 18
My understanding of Socrates’ beliefs, that living life where you live under the rules of others, in a continuous routine without examining what you actually wanted out of it, is not worth living, and I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like had I pursued piano and not sciences. I wasn’t examining my life back then. I was figuring it out. I was doing what I thought I needed to do, and that was to get an education, a degree, so that I could prove to myself and to others that I wasn’t stupid. I had scraped myself to the bone whilst trying to remove the label that some of my schoolteachers and counselors had tattooed on my heart…DON’T BOTHER, YOU ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH, YOU ARE NOT INTELLIGENT, YOU ARE POOR, YOU COME FROM A POOR UNEDUCATED FAMILY! And that was me for a very long time. That was my story!
Then, Socrates and other teachers came into my life. My quest for knowledge drove me to striving to come to know myself, and to understand myself, to asking myself if my life has any meaning or value?
I explored. My self-dialogue sounded something like this: “Do we charge into life or death in focus? Does the thought of life and death cross everyone’s mind, and what does that look like for others, and how different is it – how different are life and death? Is my focus everything I desire and aim to achieve? What the heck do I wish to achieve? Do my decisions navigate the course and not the intended course, when otherwise marked as such by the others who would prefer that I walk a path where I can make sense to them in their world, or is the belief of my course, my life, as taught by Socrates, a fallacy or a silly dream?
My mind swirled with such questions. Through much learning and experiencing contrast in my life, could the key to life be to let it unfold, revealing itself in silent moments? Would that be better than trying to impose a meaning on it like the entitled, righteous people in your life? What category of people did I fit into? The righteous or the privileged, or both? Or neither?
How do we define ourselves? What kind of human being do I wish to be? Through my writing and creating fictional characters, I’ve inserted myself in every single character I’ve ever created. What the character have experienced, I’ve also experienced it in one form or another. What my characters explore, I explore. Thus, as my character Anuk in the Adventures of Anuk: The First Leap. The Adventures of Anuk: The First Leap is an ecological story of a young girl on a quest to save the world. Through her everyday life experiences and reading many books, she comes to understand that the grandeur of a great life is what we all seek. Regrettably, there is a poetic flaw in this weaving. Humanity forces us to choose between right and wrong. Wrong obviously prevails because those doing the wrong don’t see it as wrong, as it is their worldview. Yet, right and wrong are forever bound to love and hate, death and life.
Forever bound
Forever bound I stand alone.
I see beyond the shadow,
In the glory of love, I want to go.
The journey long weaved and tangled,
I trip along this stormy road,
No sound no music no birds,
A silent life I live.
Caught in my own web,
Forever bound I stand alone,
Hmm, Hmm Hmm.
A single step is all I need,
No more no less.
The morning light greets me good day,
I feel its warmth I see the light,
I see where there once was a shadow.
Forever bound no more,
Why not me?
My feet are light with birds at my feet,
They lead the way.
Hmm, Hmm Hmm.
A single step is all I need,
No more no less,
Why not me?
Why not me?
In the glory of love, I want to go.
Forever bound no more.
I lead the way,
I lead the way.
Hmm, Hmm, Hamm.
Forever bound in the glory of love.