27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 11 BOOK OF SONGS AUTHOR’S 2ND AUTOBIOGRAPHY
27 APRIL 2020 BLOG 11
At times, I knew what I was bringing to the table. However, while writing this book, I really asked myself “what do I bring to the table?” Throughout the course of these past few years of my life, I explored twists and turns into my past, present and future. I lingered in the past for some time, well…a good part of my adult life, and recently discovered the ‘present’ – the here and now – because that’s all there is. I could only do this by thanking my past and releasing my future.
I did this journey with the teachings of Wayne Dyer, Ester Hicks, Louise Hay, Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Gary Zukav, Dandapani, Thich Nhat Hanh, and most importantly, my own soul – my highest and truest self.
In that morning’s meditation, I received two messages. One was an answer to my question, “What do I bring to the table?”, while the other was a visit from someone I had met many years ago when I lived in Vancouver. His name is Sam.
The first message – I saw what I brought to the table, starting with my last year or two of high school to this day. This voyage explored areas of my life where I didn’t resist or where I had resisted. My resistance began when my mind’s bright light had been squashed by every adult I encountered, telling me what I should expect in life, and what I should not expect in life…none of this was aligned with any of my dreams. Getting off this path filled with resistance had been the greatest challenge of my life.
However, when I had no resistance, life went smoothly. Everything came to me. It was effortless. It just came to me. I received. I sought nothing. There was no pounding the pavement to get what I wanted to experience.
What I had been bringing to the table since the age of 17 was leadership and mentoring. I didn’t know that back then, of course. Since I’d been a child, I had observed people. I watched them. I listened to them. I lived mostly from my 6th sense. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized that not everyone was like me. And, when I found others like me, I was thrilled. It was more the feeling, the knowing that we had found each other. I don’t believe that anything in my life is the result of coincidences. Somehow, I’ve always known this truth for myself.
In this morning’s meditation, my life story for this particular question, “What do I bring to the table?” was an eye opener for me, even if it was my life that I was watching like a holographic image. As a child observing other people, I quickly learned that the person I was observing wasn’t happy or didn’t respond in the same manner I thought they would when I addressed their true self. For example, imagine I’m standing in front of Lucie # 1. Lucie is an adult woman. Let’s say that she’s a school teacher. There is also Lucie #2.
Lucie #1 is talking to me, Suzanne. Suzanne the child is listening to Lucie #1. Lucie #1 is saying all sorts of things to Suzanne. Lucie is reprimanding Suzanne, is accusing Suzanne, is imposing her opinion on Suzanne. Suzanne listens and observes. But Suzanne is really listening and observing Lucie #2. Lucie #1 is the frightened part of Lucie. Lucie #2 is the real – true – aligned with Lucie’s soul. When it’s time for Suzanne to respond, she responds to Lucie #2. That’s what got her into trouble, because Lucie #1 doesn’t understand. It took me some years to understand that the #1s did not know their #2, and that I could address the #1s as though they knew their #2s.
The other image shown to me was an afternoon at my high school La Citadelle. I was outside on the racetrack with a classmate, Jamie. Jamie told me of a Canadian youth program called Katimatik. Katimavik was and still is, as I write this book, a registered charity that educates young Canadians through volunteer work, and it provides opportunities to participate in intensive volunteer work for a period of 9 months. Nowadays, the duration is of 6 months. Should you ever be interested in becoming a Katimavik participant, go to https://katimavik.org/en/. The word ‘Katimavik’ originates from the Inuktitut language, and it means ‘meeting place’.
I signed up. Back then, the program ran for nine months. You lived and worked in one place for three months.
That very same year, before applying to Katimavik, I remembered that I was standing in the hallway, at the front door of our house. I was still in grade 12. I received a flash, a message that I’d be going to Vancouver, British Columbia. I didn’t pay any more attention to this. I went on with my day.