Next To Nothing

It’s impossible to be this alone and without love for so long What was believed so long ago is now keeping me apart from you and everyone So close I came to choosing something else It was next to nothing thinking I could be happy without you I was flawed in my perception of who I was and wanted to be

It was next to nothing to deny myself unwavering love To be seen in the fanfare and fancy free society In the lunacy of bright lights and socialites It was nothing thinking I was free in the world I created It was nothing being blind to the bondage imposed of such a life

I saw you in the shadow of my life Free of all emotional involvement Free of commitment to you or anyone Especially free of commitment to myself It was nothing being untouchable by anyone or anything Till that one day facing myself alone in the mirror

It was next to nothing worshiping the stranger before me It was next to nothing turning the other cheek But this failed so miserably I wasn’t there I just wanted to hurt me

I searched for my consciousness It was everything to do something different It was possible to see me with love To believe in an open heart and embracing a new life I created Soon it became next to impossible to deny myself all love I shut the door to my lunatic world It was next to impossible to be as I was Instead, it became next to nothing to be with you and me